
I've decided that having children will cause your heart to shatter into a million pieces over and over again....
this happened to me yesterday...
little pieces of my heart scattered all over the gym floor as I dropped my girls off at school!
It didn't take much for it to happen....
because it really started 2 weeks ago on a Friday night to be exact, all from an email I received from my oldest daughter's literature teacher.
The email was informing me that my daughter wrote a speech. She presented it to her class and it has been selected with 3 other candidates to be part of a speech competition with other local schools.
The winner and an alterenate will be announced on Monday....
you see I had no idea my daughter even wrote a speech!
I immediately ran to find her....
asking her a ton of questions.....
what was the speech on?
how long did it have to be?
why didn't you tell me?
Were you nerves?
tell me all the details....
she looked at me and said, "Oh mom, don't make such a big deal about it! it was just an inspirational speech and I only choose that topic so this very thing would not happen?"
I was so confused...
what thing happen?
possibly being a candidate for the speech contest....
I "hate" talking in front of an audience...
I knew right then and there to drop it and wait to see who was going to be picked....
I was just so darn proud of her!
My daughter was selected as the alternate.
Which brings me to back to my shattered heart and yesterday...
I saw her math teacher in the school gym and we are friends outside of school...
and she bought up my daughter's speech telling me she should have been the one selected for the competition.
I told her I have yet to see a copy of her speech.
Her jaw hit the floor, she took a step back and said, "are you serious, you didn't help her?"
Nope, my cheeks began to feel warm because I then confessed that I didn't even know anything about the speech till I received the email and that she still wont tell me anything about it.
There I was in the gym with all the students rolling in for their school day to begin and this teacher, a friend, told me what it was about....
your inner voice... listening to your inner voice when making decisions, challenging times, right from wrong...
My daughter wrote a speech about your inner voice! {she's 13!}
yes!!!! she replied....
My heart shattered because I was so proud of my daughter and her topic.....
but a big part of it shattered because she didn't want to share it with me....
I want my children to be strong individuals, and by her picking her topic on her own without seeking advice I think she is on her way to being just that... her own person with her own words done her way.....
everything I want her to be....
it's just that i only know one way to love....
with my whole heart and it's because of this is why it will shattered over and over again.
I love sharing.... it's who I am.... I'm just not sure it's who my daughter is....
My daughter has wings! Will my heart ever be ready....
{image from Angel at photobucket}
